


Withheld Secrets

by tinyalchemist



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6023521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyalchemist/pseuds/tinyalchemist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Edward works a late shift in the office, his superior officer discover's something Ed's been hiding for a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Withheld Secrets

"Almost finished, Fullmetal?"

Ed raised his head from the dull sheet of paperwork, his golden eyes meeting the dark ones from across the room. "Yeah. Almost." He murmured, his eyes shifting past the man to the window behind him. Dark already? How long had he been working? He glanced up at the clock, the circular object reading 11:53.

Damn, he'd been here all day. Nobody else was left in the office, leaving him and Mustang alone.

He quickly finished the last word with a scribble, and clicked the pen's tip, the end retracting back into its shell. He organized the papers neatly, and rolled his shoulders, feeling the strain from the paperwork deep in his muscles. Once the papers were all set in a neat line, he stood up from the cushioned couch, stretching his muscles as much as he could without physically hurting himself. After he was done stretching, he trudged over to Mustang's desk, outstretching the papers, and then pen.

"Here." Ed said simply, Mustang's eyes rising from his own paperwork. He lowered his gaze back to the white sheets, and outstretched a hand, taking the pen and setting it down, followed by the papers in Ed's left hand. However, because he wasn't looking, he overshot and brushed against Ed's wrist, his eyes raising to quickly identify what he'd just touched.

Roy was about to apologize out of pure instinct, but the texture of Ed's wrist quieted him. It'd seemed bumpy, almost rigid in one spot. Ed wasn't wearing his usual outfit – no, he had outgrown that - but instead a white collared long-sleeve shirt, followed by black pants. The shirt however was a little too big for the alchemist, and gave space between his wrist and the shirt.

Ed frowned when Roy's eyes shifted. They seemed like they were focused on something, and he tilted his head somewhat, still holding the papers. "Mustang?" He asked, not aware that Roy had felt a different texture on his wrist.

Roy grabbed his wrist and pulled up on his shirt, not giving the alchemist any time to react. Ed's bare skin was revealed, along with several lateral lines, all up the young man's forearm. They were raised slightly, which indicated to Roy that they were scarred, and scarred meant deep. The ones at the beginning of Ed's wrist were slightly faded, and pink. They're not recent. Roy observed, his eyes trailing up to the middle of Ed's arm. The lines here were more raw and red, indicating to Roy that these were more recent. Roy then snapped his dark gaze to meet Ed's, fury flickering in his irises.

"What the hell is this, Fullmetal?" He demanded, his authoritative tone becoming overshadowed with rage.

Ed snatched his hand away as soon as he could, quickly shoving his sleeve back down. "It's none of your goddamn business!" He shouted back, a flicker of fear flashing in his golden eyes.

"Elric!" Roy hissed, his hands slamming down on the desk as he felt his frustration rise. "You've been self-harming?" Roy asked roughly, his eyes slits as he watched Ed back away from the desk, who had dropped the papers on the ground. "Since when?" He demanded, moving around his desk when Ed inched away further.

"It doesn't matter, so lay off it, bastard!" Ed snapped at his superior, his heart skipping a beat when Roy moved around his desk, advancing towards him. "Get away from me, you better not lay a fucking hand on me!" He threatened, trying to avoid Roy's grasp as it made for his wrist.

Ed's attempt was to no avail as Roy snatched the thin wrist, grasping it tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?" Roy roared, his eyes boring holes into the eighteen-year old. A mixture of rage and concern was building up inside of the Flame Alchemist, and he grasped Ed's wrist tighter, not waiting for a response as he continued. "Do you know how deep these cuts are?" He hissed, moving so that Ed's arm was in front of his own face, ensuring that he got a good look at his handiwork. "One wrong move and you could have killed yourself! Do you not realize the severity of your actions?"

Ed opened his mouth to snap at his superior, but his voice was drowned out by a louder, fiercer voice. With every word the Colonel grew louder, and closer to Ed, who was wide-eyed at this point. He'd never seen Roy become so furious so fast, despite the time underground with Envy. When Roy finally paused for a breath, Ed broke through, shouting as loud as he could to ensure he would be heard.

"Of course I know how deep they are, I'm the one who made them!" Ed shrieked, trying to yank his wrist away from his superior, but the grip was too tight. "Why should I tell you?! What could you have done?" Ed challenged Roy, who looked genuinely hurt for a split second.

"I could have helped you get through this, Fullmetal!" He spat, the hurt again replaced with rage. "This isn't a healthy way to solve your problems!"

"Well then what is?!" Ed screeched, watching as Roy's eyes darkened beyond a color Ed thought was possible. For a moment he was actually afraid of the Colonel. He questioned whether or not he was actually going to strike him. The free hand of the Colonel moved to grab Ed's collar, his grip still tightening around his wrist. It was painful at this point, but Ed didn't dare point it out now.

"You talk to people, Edward! You seek help! You come to me!" Roy shouted, more concern than rage present in the older man's eyes now. "We aren't all bad, Ed! Adults are here to help you; that's our purpose! You come to me if you need help, you understand? I will help you, no matter how ridiculous you deem the situation!" Roy shouted at Ed, shaking the small frame with his grip. "My duty as your superior is to protect you, and when you keep secrets from me, how am I to know about them?" Roy asked, his voice softening somewhat as he watched the fear waver in Ed's expression. "If you can't come to me as your superior, then think of me as a friend, Ed." He growled, loosening his grip on both his wrist and his collar.

Ed listened to the advice, his throat becoming dry. When the grip loosened, he yanked away, covering his arm again with his sleeve. "I didn't want to worry anyone." He mumbled, avoiding eye contact at all costs with his superior as he spoke.

"I was going to find out eventually."

"At least it wasn't at the time." Ed spat, his eyes flickering up for a moment, before they fell. "Like you haven't done the same." He grumbled. Roy felt his breath hitch in his throat, and silently adjusted his sleeves, frowning.

"How would you know a thing like that?"

"Because you're like me, Colonel." He murmured, finding the courage to make eye contact with the older man. "You're broken." Ed adjusted his collar, fixing it from when Roy had grabbed at it. "Maybe you should follow your own advice."

Roy was silent for a moment, the precise tick of the clock penetrating through the thick atmosphere. "A mere child like you shouldn't need to resort to this." Roy told Ed, who narrowed his eyes in return.

"Child? You think I'm a child? I'm eighteen years old, dammit, and you know better than anyone else that I'm more mature for my age than anyone else!" He spat at the dark figure, who in return tensed, his gloved hands curling into fists by his sides.

"You're only making excuses because you don't want to admit to it either!" Ed continued. "You don't want to face the truth, because you're a coward!"

"Enough!" Roy roared, his fists practically shaking with rage as he fought to contain himself. "I will admit to committing the action, but I'm only speaking from experience!" He hissed, his dark eyes boring holes once again into the young alchemist. "I know what it's like, Edward!"

Ed tore his gaze away from the older man when his eyes darkened, his frustrated gaze now set on the ground as he listened to Roy yell. "Maybe you speak from experience, but can bet you that you still do it, don't you?" Ed challenged, his eyes still resting on his own boots.

"The point is beside that. This isn't about me, it's about you." Roy answered darkly, his voice hinting at his desperation to correct their straying of the topic. "I'm here to help you." He muttered. "Or at least I'm supposed to be."

Ed growled at the vague answer, his eyes lifting again to attempt to meet his superior's eyes. "What're yours from?" He asked, wondering if Roy would answer to a question so specific.

"That's a little personal, don't you agree?" Roy answered Ed, his midnight blue eyes flashing with defense. Ed only snorted, a cold smile twitching onto his face.

"We're already 'a little personal', don't you agree?" He mocked, his arms now moving to fold over his chest as he watched the frustration rise in Roy.

"Fullmetal, drop it." Roy growled, his boots scuffling as they began to make their way towards the strewn papers. He bent over and began picking them up, his eyes raising when a flash of gold caught his eyes, watching as Ed began to help him, snatching some that had flitted to the other side of the room. Once the two had gathered the scattered papers, Ed handed the one's he had collected to Roy, who took them with a mutter of thanks, and placed them on his desk. The two were once again enveloped in silence again, until Roy's dark voice filled the room with noise again. "Will you take my advice?" He asked quietly. "Will you accept my help?"

Ed snorted, his hands now in his pockets as he trained his eyes on the Colonel. "It's not like I have a choice, now do I?" Ed muttered. "If I say no, you'll just order me to accept it." He pointed out, to which Roy's lips twitched into a cold smirk. "Now you're catching on."

"Yeah. I'll take it." Ed murmured, his eyes only meeting Roy's for a moment before he let them move to the window again. "But it's not like I'm gonna come walking into the office and interrupt your work, just because I've got a—"

"That's exactly what I want you to do." Roy interrupted the young man. "You don't believe you're important enough to disrupt anything, but your safety comes first." He lectured Ed, keeping his eyes on the alchemist, even though Ed refused to meet his eyes. "If there's ever a problem, you come to me immediately."

Ed let out a short huff, nodding slightly. "Fine." He muttered, his lips pursed enough to inform Roy that he was sulking. Roy took another step towards Ed, and placed a gloved hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

"I care for you and your safety." He told Ed, who snapped his gaze up at the simple sentence. "And I'm not going to let something as simple as your bull-headed-ness get in the way of protecting you." He finished, a rare but genuine smile spreading across Roy's lips.

Ed felt a smirk thin his lips, and he chuckled, punching Roy's other shoulder with his fist lightly. "Alright, alright." He murmured, shrugging Roy's hand off, which slid off swiftly and fell beside its owner. "Thanks, Colonel." Ed added, flashing a quick smile at his superior. "And..I know I'm not much, but if you ever need somebody to talk to, I'm here too. Just because you're supposed to act like an authority figure, doesn't mean you need to keep things from me, or anyone for that matter." Ed told Roy, who raised his eyebrows at the alchemist, his eyes widening in curiosity.

"That's very generous of you, Fullmetal." He commented, another smirk claiming Roy's face as he stared down at the young alchemist. "I appreciate the gesture."

Ed felt his face prickle with embarrassment, his cheeks flaring in a slight pink color. "It's just, you're a person too, and everybody has their moments. You shouldn't have to be strong all the time. 'Cuz, I mean you see people break all the time, including me, and that's not something that you can easily erase from your memory." Ed said, trying his best to put his thoughts together, despite how late it was. "It's nice to have somebody to lean on. Have your support, you know?"

Roy let out a light chuckle, unable to keep himself from ruffling Ed's hair (to which he received a squawk). "Of course I know. That's very kind of you, Ed." He informed his subordinate. "Thank you." He murmured, running a hand through his own hair afterwards. "The only flaw I see in your elaboration, is that I am an authority figure, and I'm not meant to be seen defenseless. I'm supposed to set an example for others, and always stand strong. It would be embarrassing for anybody to see me in a lower state—"

"Oh shut-up." Ed muttered, rolling his eyes. "Who cares? I don't. Sure, maybe all of those people that want to vote for you as a leader and support you and shit, but I'm one person, and no matter what you do, you're gonna have my support." Ed told him. "Yeah, maybe you don't want me to think of you as anything but strong, but you're going to have to crack at some point. Better it be with somebody to comfort you than alone, where your thoughts control you." Ed continued, running a hand through his hair to work through the knots Roy had given him from the ruffle. "So, I'd rather you come to me and break, than you hold it in and continue to pretend being okay. I know it's hard to admit, but you're not perfect. Nobody is."

Roy listened to his subordinate silently, a small trace of a smile on his face. "How did I end up with such a compassionate subordinate?" He asked, his smile widening when he heard Ed groan.

"Shut-up! I'm just trying to help you!" Ed retorted, the defense in his voice quickly rising.

"I know. Thank you." Roy finished, watching as Ed's face softened into a surprised face. He let his gaze rise to the clock on the wall, which read 1:04. He glanced back down to the golden-haired man, and let a small sigh leave his frame. "Well, it's rather late, and I should be finishing up work." Roy told the younger man, who nodded.

"Right."

"Would you allow me to take you to my place tonight?" Roy offered, noticing how exhausted the young alchemist really looked. "I don't feel too comfortable letting you walk the streets at this hour, and you look tired as it is." Roy stated.

Ed glanced up at his superior in surprise, blinking. "You're offering me to stay at your place tonight?" He reiterated, taking the nod from the Colonel as confirmation. "Sure. I'll take you up on that." Ed agreed, a small smirk spreading across his lips.

"Good." Roy nodded, turning back to his desk. "I have a few more papers to finish; once I'm done we can leave." He informed Ed, who was beginning to make his way to his usual position on the couch.

"Let me know when you're done, then." Ed murmured, moving to cross his legs over one another, his eyes closing.

Roy let a smile – a genuine smile – thin his lips as he watched the golden-eyed alchemist relax on the couch, and picked up the pen the young man had used earlier, clicking it open. "Of course." Roy responded, noticing that Ed had already drifted off, his breathing deep enough for Roy to hear it from the distance between the two. He let a small chuckle rumble through his chest, and grabbed the remaining papers that were to be done, setting them in front of him.

"He may be stubborn, but he only means good." Roy told himself, a smirk replacing the smile.

"Even if he is an idiot."


End file.
